Grandmotherhood

Grandmotherhood

There is no such thing as planned grandmotherhood. It just happens.

One day your grown child will call and announce that you are to become a grandmother. Your life will never be the same. Your name will change. No one will ever call you mom, mommy, or mother again. Your husband will never call you by your given name, nor will he ever call you dear or honey. You have now been christened "grandma", and will be known as grandma by everyone in the family, across the street, and down the block.

When you apply for your passport renewal, you will forget what your name used to be and fill in the blank for first name as grandma.

Designers have developed an endless line of merchandise devoted exclusively to grandmas. On birthdays and holidays you will receive 8x10 glitzy cards with syrupy verse, plaques and pictures with corny sayings, praising you--a grandma. You will receive t-shirts with the grandchildren's name written in purple ink, and the license plate on your car will tell all motorists that you are the world's best grandma.

And what will you do with all that stuff? You will treasure it all. Your grown children will watch in horror as you pound nails into imported wallpaper to hang a flimsy paper plate with a pudgy handprint dipped into blue paint.

Your dream of emptying the nest and having a neat house is no longer a priority. From now on, your mission in life is to make sure those inexperienced new parents raise that baby properly. They need your unsolicited, expert advice and guidance.

Attention all grandmas, these stories are for you---the young, the old, the short, tall or dewlapped woman who carries a big pocketbook with an extra diaper, packet of tissues, wipees, and a box of raisons.

Your profession has just changed. You are now ranked between motherhood and sainthood. You are the chief executive officer of the family, the exalted pyramid builder. You have now been promoted to grandmotherhood--the best profession.

next---the transition from motherhood to grandmotherhood.