The Awakening

Many mothers experience the sudden, early morning awakening, knowing, just knowing, before an eye is ever opened, that a child is standing next to the bed, peering into the face of a sleeping parent.

My friend Elaine, squinted into the dawn, then slammed her eyelids shut, nudged her snoring spouse and said, "Please don't tell me that's Peter standing here, and he figured out how to get out of his crib before his first birthday."

Yep, he did, all by himself. And it doesn't stop at motherhood.

We had grandchildren for a Friday overnight without parents, and being a seasoned parent, I knew that when I put the two boys, two and four years-old, to bed at night, they would sleep until eight in the morning.

I was wrong.

At precisely 5:47 a.m., before the birds began to chirp, I felt the presence of a child at my bedside. I slowly opened an eye into a slit, enough to see a smiling four year-old staring into my face. I hoped he didn't recognize me without make-up, but he did, and said, "I'm awake, as though I wouldn't notice.

He was immediately joined by a not-so-happy little brother dragging his blankie behind him. "The coo-coo clock woke me up," he grumped, "and I'm hungry."

I squeezed both eyes shut and pretended they weren't there. It didn't work. They went to the other side of the bed and stared into grandpa's face who gave a roaring snore and scared them back to my side of the bed. They kept a vigil while talking about pancakes and sausage, and I knew I was whipped.

As I've often said, grandmotherhood is not for faint-hearted old ladies, wimps, or women who like to sleep-in on Saturday mornings.

Happy Birthday

All kids love their birthdays, and next to Christmas, it's their favorite day of the year.

When my grandson's fifth birthday was coming up, he did what any kid his age would do--he asked, "Grandma, what are you getting me for my birthday?"

I am seldom at a loss for words, and I looked at my adorable first grandson and blurted out, "Anything your little heart desires."

He had me. He could have put a collar around my neck and lead me with a leash, and he did--right to the toy store.

At the entrance to the toy store, he reminded me in a voice that attracted eighteen people, "Remember, grandma, you said I could have anything my little heart desires." I laughed with the rest of the crowd who hoped to witness this memorable event.

He was up and down all the aisles examining every toy that caught his eye. I mentally calculated the damage to my checkbook, somewhat in shock at the price of certain toys. No longer could I buy a simple box of Lincoln Logs or a model airplane kit.

"Grandma, " came a voice from another aisle, "I found something my little heart desires." I went, along with a few other curious people, to inspect the chosen toy. It was a beauty, an $86 electronic thing guaranteed to make him the most popular kid on the block. I had no idea what it did, and neither did he, but it was colorful and intrigueing. "Keep looking," I said. A few people nodded in agreement.

Ten minutes later I heard that familiar voice again. "Oh, grandma, I found something else my little heart desires." Four other people beat me to the aisle, and two little boys said, "wow" and "awesome."

I cringed at the sight of the ugly, huge, plastic monster from outer space, done in shades of slimy green, black and purple. I knew his mother would not be thrilled, but he liked it and the price was right at $29.95. He lovingly cradled his arms around it all the way to the check-out stand and I figured it could be worse, but he loved it, and it was everything his little heart desired.

The Transition from Motherhood to Grandmotherhood

This transition is firmly etched in most grandmother's minds. Some women have gracefully accepted that it is time for a new generation to reign, while others would rather slash their wrists than be called a grandma.

Let's be honest. Grandma is not a pretty sounding word, nor does it have a youthful ring to it. Grandmother sounds much more sophisticated, but no one is going to call you that. Unless you can create a pretty sounding word that means parent-of-a-parent, you are undoubtedly going to be called grandma, like it or not.

My friend Lisa married young, had a baby at nineteen, and now, in her early fourties is going to become a grandma. Her youthful looks are important to her, and our card club waited for her to scream and yell in protest to being called a grandma. We expected she would choose a cutesy name, like Sweetie or Honeybun. She surprised us all. Lisa became the most overbearing grandma east of the Mississippi, and she loved being called plain, old grandma. Her motto became, "You have to see my grandchild's pictures," not "would you like to see my grandchild's pictures." Her victims were trapped at the card table as she whipped out the photo album with current weight and measurements, and a swatch from the christening gown.

I always knew that when it came time for me to be a grandma, I would calmly accept the news with joy and dignity. I would congratulate the parents, then get on with my life as I shopped for jammies and booties.

When the phone rang one June day, a male voice said, "Hello grandma." I knew it was a wrong number, but yet the voice did sound like my son. I kept repeating, "hunh, hunh." When I recovered my senses, I knew it was for real and it was my turn to be a grandma, just like my mom and grandma.

Did you hear that world? Can I shout it loud enough? I'm going to become a grandma. From now on, my name is grandma

Grandmotherhood

Grandmotherhood

There is no such thing as planned grandmotherhood. It just happens.

One day your grown child will call and announce that you are to become a grandmother. Your life will never be the same. Your name will change. No one will ever call you mom, mommy, or mother again. Your husband will never call you by your given name, nor will he ever call you dear or honey. You have now been christened "grandma", and will be known as grandma by everyone in the family, across the street, and down the block.

When you apply for your passport renewal, you will forget what your name used to be and fill in the blank for first name as grandma.

Designers have developed an endless line of merchandise devoted exclusively to grandmas. On birthdays and holidays you will receive 8x10 glitzy cards with syrupy verse, plaques and pictures with corny sayings, praising you--a grandma. You will receive t-shirts with the grandchildren's name written in purple ink, and the license plate on your car will tell all motorists that you are the world's best grandma.

And what will you do with all that stuff? You will treasure it all. Your grown children will watch in horror as you pound nails into imported wallpaper to hang a flimsy paper plate with a pudgy handprint dipped into blue paint.

Your dream of emptying the nest and having a neat house is no longer a priority. From now on, your mission in life is to make sure those inexperienced new parents raise that baby properly. They need your unsolicited, expert advice and guidance.

Attention all grandmas, these stories are for you---the young, the old, the short, tall or dewlapped woman who carries a big pocketbook with an extra diaper, packet of tissues, wipees, and a box of raisons.

Your profession has just changed. You are now ranked between motherhood and sainthood. You are the chief executive officer of the family, the exalted pyramid builder. You have now been promoted to grandmotherhood--the best profession.

next---the transition from motherhood to grandmotherhood.

update

hi, we are still recovering and doing very well. Patti left and EJ came so we have transportation this week. We have a cool spell right now, 50 last night, I know, I know, at least it isn't snowing and I get to take out a sweater and wear it. Who knows, I might even be able to wear a fur. Right now I'm baking 100 mini pumpkin chocolate chip muffinf for the Women's Club luncheon. IT's Susie's recipe and they are so good. Talk later, hope all is well.

Joan

progress

Hello all,
Just a note to say Pat is doing very well and will be ready for his next surgery on Friday. We don't anticipate any problems. Patti arriving today to help with driving. EJ has been here for a week and he is going home tomorrow. Not much else is new.

Love ,
Joan

Roaming Rohliks Home

We are back home and it was a good trip. Brother Bill looks good and seems happy. We saw Ed and Julie, David, Grace and sons, Bill, Laura and kids, and Kathy and Pasul Polishuk. We wentto Mary's house and visited with her for a bit. All seems well. Then to Lori and Scott's via Amtrack..what fun to ride in a train again. Went to Arrowhead and it was warm and beautiful. Such a good time. More later...love, mom